Monday, November 15, 2010

Legal Help is a Call Away

If you ever are in need of a criminal defense attorney and I certainly hope that you aren't because that would mean that you've gotten yourself somehow into a buttload of trouble--then you'd be lucky to live in San Francisco and have access to a good one.
But hopefully that scenario will never play out because I know that you are a good person and a careful one and that you stay out of dark alleys and tend toward safe situations. Of course there are times when no matter what one does, one is going to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and is going to be framed for something that they didn't do or have any control over just like that movie with Daniel Day Lewis called, "In the Name of The Father". It is in this movie where Daniel does time for a very long time in an Irish prison...like almost ten years or something crazy like that. Until they find out that he's actually innocent.
And the movie raps up with his vindication and all is well..of course except for the part where he just lost over a decade of his life inside prison walls. And that sucks. Cause he didn't have a good attorney.

What's in a Wedding?

What's in a wedding? Well let me count the many many many details. There are copious things to consider. Of course let me begin with the obvious: the dress and reception. The booking the chapel or the temple or the venue of choice whether it's a backyard or a community building or else a historical site or boat or horse and pasture (yes, you heard me) I've been to all types of these events and nothing could really surprise me.
And there's the menu for the luncheon or the breakfast or the wedding feast or all three, whatever is the case and depending on ones culture. And then lest we forget, the wedding programs listing the order of nuptials and the invitations and also the very important, extremely crucial detail called music because what is a wedding without it? And all of these things are just the tip of the iceberg because there are the finite details like the fittings and the photographer and the cake and the guest book and the speeches and the whole thing just gets me really excited about throwing a wedding for one of my girls and I can't wait to help her work out all of these details. And that's not even the half of it.

It's Only The Most Important Day of Your Life

When I think of a really rewarding design career I often think of layout and card design. I like the look and the detail of designer cards and the way that they are so thoughtfully planned and laid out. I'm a romantic-and that makes me a huge sucker for lovely font.
And interesting cut-outs and embossing and monograms etc. I love custom made so much, I'll take it all sight unseen. In fact I'll take two of everything.
So it goes without saying that if I could have a fun design career and do something quite competently, then it would be creating the loveliest wedding programs in the world. I'd take absolute pride in my craft. I'd try to give my customers more than a program. It would be more like a quality, well thought out and executed personal souvenir of the most important day of their life.
You might think it's hyperbole but I swear with every fiber of my being that it's not. It's just the kind of girl that I am.

Savannah is my Kind of Town

There are plenty of things to do in Savannah Georgia. And that's not just counting eating the freshly poured pralines at the shops along the river. It's not even including, seeing all the historical spots that appear in the book, : "Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil". Or visiting Forrest Gumps bench. Or taking a night tour at all the haunts along the city ghost tours.
There are other things to do. Like for instance, eating great, fresh seafood. And just walking between the cool t-shirt joke shops and enjoying people watching. There's a pretty good shopping district too. And the hotels which are situated along the river front are wonderful spots for gorgeous site seeing.
Savannah is an artsy town with a lot of galleries because of the presence of SCAD-that's Savannah College of Art and Design which is pretty big business in that area with a lot of talent painting, drawing and computer generating their way to degrees and a creative livelihood. It's a really fun place. And oh, did I mention that it stays pretty warm year round? Enough said.

Tour City of the Dead

If you want a seriously good Halloween scare or really anytime of year frightening experience, then do yourself a huge fun favor and take one of several year round Savannah ghost tours available. They're super fun and they only run about an hour and a bit. Many of them run on through the evening up until about midnight when all of the city is dark and quiet which really enhances the experience.
Many people visiting Savannah, just go because they want to see real antebellum architecture and Spanish moss in those trees. They want to walk along the river and take in some Southern cooking or else enjoy a nice meal or two of genuine Southern seafood. They're big fans of Paula Deen or perhaps they're just dropping off their child at SCAD for the semester. (For those who don't know, Savannah is home to the biggest art and design school along the southern seaboard)
But many of these tourists and visitors don't know that Savannah is also dubbed the city of the dead.
There are more graveyards there than I've seen in any city of that size. I mean Savannah's not huge and it's pretty creepy at night.

Ghost Touring Savannah Ga

When in Savannah Georgia and particularly during the hallowed month of October it is highly recommended that you take a little time out of your busy, party-like existence to settle down and book one of several night time ghost tours.
See, I went to Savannah only a couple of years back, with my girls who were just pre-teens and teens and we booked one of these things. And it was only about $10 per person. And we only had to wait for about an hour or so to be ushered onto the bus by a seemingly crazy person/witch and enjoy a midnight tour of the town with an experienced guide at the driver's seat who proceeded to tell us about every freaky story that ever happened in the city.
And some of those were freaky. The city of Savannah seems to have ghosts and they seem to live in the trees and in the narrow lanes and cobbled streets and in the corridors of some houses we were lucky enough to tour. There was a lot of crazy stuff that's happened through the years. And plenty of unsolved mysteries surrounding peculiar deaths within one family or another.
It wasn't too creepy and it wasn't too long. It was just right for a little midnight fun.

Be Your Own Best Boss

If you'd like some work at home tips, don't look at me. Because I've got none. Nada. Yeah, it's true. I just don't have any experience about working from home. Oh, ask me anything about scrubbing toilets, cleaning a fridge, vacuuming out a car, sorting an attic, scrubbing out shirt stains or organizing a closet, and I've got it pretty much under control with lots of advice.
But see, I've been a domestic creature for many years and I've had many domestic experiences but none of these experiences at all include doing work from home. I've had plenty of work in home and that has been more than enough to keep me busy over time.
And yes, as a matter of fact it is kind of nice being your own boss, because you can allow yourself to take breaks whenever you like and to treat yourself to lunch out and to have nice little pep talks whenever you want and to take vacations as needed or a personal day--a day where you just lie in bed with a good book and decide that you don't really want to do anything but eat and read.
Yeah, we all have days like that every now and then and the key is to have a great boss (yourself) where you don't have to explain why. Because sometimes you don't have any reason.

I Will Walk Through The Garden, err...the Nursery--All Wet With Rain

And how is it strange that one 0f my favorite past times is roaming up and down the aisles at a local plant nursery so that I can appreciate and revel in some of the finest of God's creations on this lovely planet earth?
Because I am a horticulture nut. There I've said it. I just am. And I won't apologize for that--ever. I just can't get enough of evergreens, Lorapetalum, tall ornamental grasses and various tropical plants. I love to wander up and down the aisles even if I'm only there for the view; even if I'm not buying. It's like walking around in and taking in the beauty of a well kept, victory garden with plants en masse--which are just coming into the height of their splendor.
So what I'm saying is this: nurseries are fun places to hang out. You should try it sometime if you haven't. But careful. You'll want to watch yourself or you could end up falling in love with everything you see and completely blowing your paycheck before you know what happened.
It's easy. I do it all the time. Every season...no matter how much I promise myself that I won't succumb to the shiny green leaves and pretty flowers.

Excusez-Moi I'm English Speaking

When I was in Europe several years ago, I needed no one to interpret for me. I didn't require a handbook--even in the most remote places. No Bulgarian to English translation for this chick. Because everyone there spoke English. Well not literally everyone. Not the random five-year old child in Brussels. That's not what I mean.
But everywhere I went from Paris to Rome to Zagreb, there were a ton of folks who knew English. And I don't mean that they knew basic, tourist instructional English either. I mean, they know how to expertly conjugate verbs and how to hold a decent length conversation. I mean that they actually read and write in the language which has become as prevalent as the Euro.
And it's kind of a shame. I mean, because I so wanted the rich experience of distending my comfort zone, (as opposed to expanding it :) I wanted to work hard to understand my European fellowman. I wanted that thing.
I wanted to feel that I'm awesome because I can survive in a land where everyone speaks something foreign and where I am a guest. On my best behavior. I wanted to be different.

Say Cheese; It's a Wedding.

If there's any industry around this valley that's in higher demand, then I have no idea what it is. That's right, I'm talkin' bout a Utah Wedding photographer. Cause I think there are possibly more nuptials taking place in the Wasatch range than any other place on the face of the earth.
It's a pretty popular event.
If you ever trek down I-15 and take notice of the billboards then you'll know what I mean. There's sign after sign for Wedding websites and bridal wear and knee shorts and plastic surgery. This is the way that it rolls and it doesn't let up from as far north as Ogden all the way down to Payson and on. Now once you get south of St George, things begin to give way to strip clubs and Las Vegas oriented entertainment. The Utah LDS wedding thing begins to fade out and the thrust is more toward 'hot babes' and such.
The 1-15 corridor is like a little irony of life. It's episodic and chameleon-esque in that it plays up to the demographic of one area only to segue into the next as you drive further along.

Good Choice, CI've spent a year of my life selling shoes. And what an interesting occupation it was. I've got stories toan I Get You That in a Size 8?

I've spent a year of my life selling shoes. And what an interesting occupation it was. I've got stories to tell which is more than I can say for a few other jobs. And the stories are rich but the job wasn't especially lucrative. In my store anyway. The most expensive shoes ran $39.99 back in the 80's except for a few Lariat boots in mens. Now I know of some people who both excel at this type of sales work and who also make bank, by the way.
In cases where the retail sales team management does a significantly great job and if your shop carries quality footwear--not that vinyl made in China junk, but nice Italian leather shoes--then you can likely do well. But it depends on the stock and the training about feet and their natural asymmetry and the leather being 'likely to stretch' and a slew of dozens of other little phrases and sales tricks you need to know to succeed. It's learning to connect with your clients and up-selling the wares. And you need quality stock you can believe in and promote with a clear conscience. That's how you make bank selling shoes.

Take Leave off Your Partner; Focus on Your Own Actions

Too many people go into marriage feeling as though they want to control everything. It's their inner A-type personality. Actually sometimes it's the outer A-type personality. They go in with the belief that it's all about partner management; that they should be watching what their spouse is doing and correcting them when they err. They fail to focus on themselves. They fail to realize that despite whatever their partner is doing, they are only responsible for how they respond to it.
This is the type of marriage that is doomed from the get-go. They don't pause long enough to take the focus off of themselves but rather they want to point out everything that is lacking in their partner.
I've seen this type of relationship. Up close and personal. And it's not pretty. It's the type of deal where the one responds by having a talking to with the other when they do something considered unsavory or mean. In a healthy relationship, one spouse or partner is more focused on the humanity they serve up and the principles they keep, regardless of what the other person chooses to do.

Can I Help or Are You Just Looking?

If you've ever worked in the mall, or simply just shopped, you'll know what I mean when I say that there is a great need for decent retail sales management. Along with the good and the ugly, there are a ton of bad sales people out there who need better training.
I'm just talking about those who simply aren't intuitive at all about their customer needs. I'm talking about the evaders....those salespeople who see a customer in need but who play hard to get and avoid having to help them. I'm talking about the sales people who are too dang pushy and won't give the customer space but who camp right alongside them and eventually just scare them away. I'm talking about other deviations in between.
What makes the best sales and the happiest shoppers is being intuitive enough to assist a customer without crowding them out.
It's a balancing act but after a lot of experience and training and simply by paying attention to body language, a salesperson should be able to pick up on these cues.

Got skymiles Will Travel

My brother-in-law works for a company that sells ammunition practice ranges. He gets a lot of big contracts with all kinds of huge corporations. The U.S. military for one. Major city police forces for another. He sells the ranges and then helps install them when necessary. Whoever coached his field sales training at the beginning of this career--well, they did a fine job.
Because he's been with this company for a while and he has had a very lucrative run. A lot of people rely on him heavily and he spends a good deal of time traveling and ensuring that the product delivered arrives as promised and up to specification. He's very good at what he does.
My sister (his wife) is at home on her own with their four kids while he's in the field and at times it exasperates her beyond anything. Because little kids are difficult on even the best days and she has four under the age of ten and it's hard.
But the upside is that with all of his travel, he racks up sky miles and they get to travel alone a lot. They go to the Caribbean and Peru and the middle east. They've been to Egypt and Vancouver B.C. as well as a lot of other exotic locations, on his sky miles alone. Not a bad deal.

Can I See That Thing For a Minute?

I should come up with a list of my favorite annoyances. Or is it worst annoyances? Well either way, a list of my top ten things that happen or that don't happen which really irritate me. One of those things is the fact that no-one else besides me can seem to change the toilet paper to a new roll when it gets to the end of the line.
For goodness sakes people!! I mean gosh! I really hope that I don't die or else nobody will ever have anything to wipe their butt with ever again. And the other thing that happens in life and which really irritates me is when you might watch tv with someone you don't know and they just hog the remote control and switch to a channel and then you latch onto a program and suddenly they pull the old switcheroo on you. And because you're a nice person and not rude in the least, you don't say anything because you've just met this person and you hate to be ungracious. But there it is: no channel management. And now you're stuck watching Bob and Big Bird on Sesame Street instead of Liz and Jack in the best episode of 30 Rock, ever aired.
It's a bummer; for sure.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Walk In A Straight Line For Me

I've been lucky enough to never need a DUI. Probably because I'm not a drinker. Thus, my non need for a DUI attorney. Cause that would be pretty ridiculous to be pulled over for drinking and driving when you don't drink. Rest assured it's happened. I know some people are really bad drivers so I'm pretty sure that the cop suspects a person of being tipsy at the wheel.
That would be pretty embarrassing to get the old breathalyzer. Essentially the cop is saying, "You might not be drunk or even slightly hazy but you drive like you're inebriated."
That's pretty rough to hear.
I've never heard it from the mouth of a cop but I know for a fact that I've made some people a little nervous when they get into the passenger seat with me.
Anyway. I haven't had that experience before and I hope that I never do.
But I'm sure it's happened and I feel sorry for the person who's had to deal with that. Maybe there's a flip side. Maybe they feel a certain smugness toward the officer when the breathalyzer comes out clean.

No New Job For This Girl

Have you ever been fired by your boss in San Diego for some ridiculous reason? Have you ever been fired anywhere, for that matter? I have not. I've had no need to hire an employment attorney I tell you what though...I've been in a few positions where I really really wanted to walk out on a job. But I always realized that it was probably just the caffeine talking. Or else I was simply having a tough day. We all have those.
But when I got home that night and thought about the prospect of getting a new job and when I considered how many bad jobs there are out there versus the good ones, then I usually rethought my whole paradigm. And then I just had a big bowl of peanut butter trails ice cream and got over it--whatever it was.
This kind of thing happens. No, I don't want to have to look for a new job and go through all of that pain and anxiety. You know, the interview, paperwork, the first day jitters and then trying to find some co-worker to hang out with during lunch. That pretty much sucks.

Me and My Cherry Stone Pillow

I definitely am in need of some decent personal size heating. As in a space heater. I live in a really big house with twelve foot vaulted ceilings and Italian tile. Allow me to just say that it gets mighty cool in there especially at night when that canyon wind is blowing.
And last night was no exception. The problem is that I hate to crank the heat because it's not going to make it a lot warmer in that huge house and then I'll have a gargantuan energy bill besides it being kinda chilly.
So what I need is either a space heater or maybe I just need a cherry stone pillow--like the one that my mother in law gave me a few winters back. I love that thing and it's funny, I never thought I'd use it that much because I was living in the deep South when she gave it to me. But guess what? No, guess.
Well I sleep with it every night because that thing really saves me. I microwave it for about 3 minutes and it stays warm for about an hour. It beats getting into a really cold bed. And it doesn't leak like a hot water bottle or use up energy like a heating pad. It just makes life in a cold climate--bearable.

Keep on Moving - Don't Stop

I'd be afraid to take bodybuilding supplements. Don't ask me why. Okay....ask. Because well when I was in high school I had a friend who warned me about working out and eating a lot of high protein and carbs and getting into top physical condition. And I know it sounds kinda crazy but that discussion has stayed with me for a long time.
And the gist of it is this: How long can one sustain a lifestyle like this for any length of time without waking up one morning and deciding you just can't do it anymore. I mean at some point you WILL reach that point. Now, I know it may be a long way off...maybe oh...I dunno, ten, fifteen years. But think of all that bulk you've built up. The mass is going to then morph into something and I can guaran-damn-tee you it is going to turn to fat. Almost overnight.
And you know what? That really scares me. Because I don't want to build up my body and work really hard to just have it turn into mush once I lay off for about a week.
I just don't think it's worth it. And so I'll walk around kind of half flabby and just know that I may be half flabby but at least I know what I've got and none of it is going to drastically change.

How to Become a Big Slob in Just a Few Easy Steps

If you want to get ripped then you need bodybuilding supplements and a daily workout regimen. But if you don't care about that stuff and you want to just live like a big fat slob, then here's what you do.
Gorge yourself on carbs every morning (whether you're hungry or not). That's a no brainer. Don't listen to your body. Just shut it down by shoving in peach cobbler and ice cream--late at night. It'll get the idea soon enough.
Additionally what you can also do is settle into the living room on a big oversized lazy-boy for the winter with the remote in your left hand and a mini fridge on the right so that you don't have to exert any energy and ensure that you've rolled yourself into a slanket so that you don't ever have to get up and go look for something to keep your sedentary self warm.
Pass the potato chips and over salted, over buttered popcorn and take in a lot of salt and fat. That's the surefire way to work yourself to fatdom. I've seen people do it. And it really works.

You Go Girls!

Maybe I''m weird. I've never been too concerned with gaining muscle and reducing fat or taking bodybuilding supplements. I guess because I just think that having a little bit of fat is something that makes a woman more feminine. That's because women have a little hormone called estrogen. It keeps us a bit soft and maternal.
Of course if I was a guy I think perhaps I'd be a little more worried about these things. I'd totally want to have abs of steel and arms of iron but I'm not and I don't. Instead I'm a woman and I'll opt for abs of aluminum anyday because that's more my personality. I'm a softie.
Now, I know some pretty buff chicks and they seem to take pride in their workout and love the fact that they're buff.
I'm the type of person who gets into something and I suppose if I was in my 20's and had no work obligations or children or other strings or people who needed me to cook for them--then maybe I'd be more interested. But I think that phase of life has passed me by. And I'm okay with it.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Not Your Typical Girl

When I was little I didn't have the typical outlook on fashion and gender and marriage. I was a pretty big tomboy. I didn't dream of shiny white wedding dresses. I really liked jeans and boy boots. And I sort of had this secret wish that I'd been born a boy. Not because I was interested in leading an alternate lifestyle. But simply because it seemed that boys had all the fun.
It seemed as though they had adventures that girls of my age couldn't dream about. They had boy scouts and honestly their way of camping and just seemed like so much more fun than brownies and girl guides.
Plus I liked their uniforms so much better. And the fact that they go hunting and white water rafting and fishing and that's the sort of stuff I wanted to do when I was a little girl not play with Barbies and do crafts. And it's funny to know that my daughter Maya is a lot like me in this way. Recently in church one of the leaders stood up and announced all of the programs that the boys were doing and my daughter turned to me and said, "Mom, I'm in the wrong program."

Choose Well. I'll Support You Either Way

As the mother of three daughters one thing I have to look forward to is shopping for bridal wear one day. I say one day because my kids aren't quite dating yet. Not that they're not at the dating age. Not that they aren't cute girls. They are very cute girls. And that's not subjective at all. I don't say that simply because I'm their mother. I swear. They get a lot of attention but they don't lap it up. They are fiercely independent girls and prefer to stay aloof.
And so I imagine that one day they will all find someone to whom they can relate in almost every way. And I'm sure that at least one or two of my three girls will eventually get married. But I can almost guarantee it will be after their graduation and after they've found their calling in life. Because I can't imagine them settling down before then.
I can't imagine them wanting to give up their dreams to get married and lead typical domestic lives. At least there two of them won't. I can't picture them doing it anyway.
Maybe I'm wrong. Whatever their choices though, I want them to know I'm behind them all the way.

There'll Always Be Another Sale

Don't run out and buy a prom dress just because some formal wear store is having a good sale. Because there will always be sales and if you panic every time a store has a sidewalk sale--or always tell yourself that this is the last great deal, then no doubt over time you'll have all kinds of unwearable or dated items in your closet and a slow leak in your checking account.
It's a principle I've learned over the years. And it's this: you can always wait for the next big sale. This is excellent advice for people who have to watch their spending and if my judgment is correct, then that includes at least 75 percent of the American population.
I know this because I used to not believe it. I used to buy things simply because they were on sale. In many cases--when it came to clothing, I didn't even try on the items. I just figured it was such a good deal that it didn't matter if it fit. After-all I was making out like a bandit.
But over the years I also realized that it didn't make sense to hoard all these things, thinking that one day I'd use them. Or one day I could give it as a gift.
I've learned that it simply collects dust on the shelf.

I Haven't Got a Stitch to Wear

For some girls finding the perfect prom dress is about as time consuming and arduous as it is to shop for a wedding gown. Because for some girls, the perfect prom dress is almost as pricey and elaborate as a wedding gown.
Thank goodness my daughters aren't like that. I appreciate the fact that they aren't total Disney romanticists. Because you can blow a lot of money on prom dresses and also, a lot of them aren't that great. I'm not a fan of the big puffy sleeved pastel crepe or taffeta prom dresses that a lot of girls wear. I much prefer the formal black tie look, the short dress or skirt and blouse rather than the other.
And that's just me. I know some people don't consider a skirt and top, formal attire. So it's all subjective. All I know is that I would never be caught in one of those taffeta gowns and I can fairly safely bet that my own children share the same sentiment.

It's Not Easy Being Thin

It's very tough to be really thin. I'm not just saying that to garner false sympathy or attention. It really is hard just as much as it's tough to to be really big. See, my daughter Drew is one of these double 0 sizes and what a nightmare it is to try to find a prom dress that works for her size.
She has tiny features, shoulders and legs and a tiny little waist and so it's not easy for her to fill out a gown as they're primarily made for girls with more curves. Even the smaller ones seem hopelessly empty with her little frame inside.
So the good solution I've found is to get a recommendation for a good tailor. Because it's amazing how they can take out a seam and make it tighter so that the dress looks like it was tailor made for you.
And that's what we do. For the longest time she could only shop at Abercrombie because their stuff is made for the diminutive frame but then she got tired of that super trendy look and wanted something more unique. So we landed a good tailor and we've been able to stay pretty happy and fashion forward ever since.

Got Marriage?

You could make a killing selling bridal wear in Utah Valley. It seems like everyone and their dog are getting married in this area of the country. And a lot of that is Mormon culture. And some of it is just because it's a college town region with a lot of single people who seem to feel a little lonely--being so far from family and all that. And so some of them try to create their own family by getting married. I swear it's all true.

One drive down I-15 andyou can tell it's that type of place, when you drive north or south on I-15. It seems every billboard is about weddings or marriage. And so there's a lot of it going around. The whole wedding trend is also infectious. If you have a key location and knowledgeable staffing, you could do very well, in Provo, Orem or in the greater Salt Lake. Also in the South end of the valley or Southern Utah, it's also a good market. But there's a decent amount of competition so study the market and know who your biggest regional competitor is. This way,you can arm yourself with knowledge about that competitor.

Preemptive Shopping

It's fun to go shopping for wedding dresses even if one has no plan to get married in the immediate or near future. This way you know what type of cut suits you--what style of dress you will look for if you make plans to marry quickly and don't have a lot of time to waste.
What I wanted in a dress was a lot of pomp. And I got it. I bought an Italian gown that had been vastly reduced--down to $600 from an original $1500. That was a good deal. And then I eventually sold it, about six years after my wedding. I don't know why I waited so long. I knew from the start that my children wouldn't want it. And I didn't want to enforce the idea that they had to share my taste.
I mean perhaps maybe they would want it, but by then it would be yellowed and I'd have to store the thing and then that just seemed rather excessive and expensive to do and so I figured just sell it. I have enough pictures that they can duplicate it if they like it at some point, about 25 years down the road. If not, no bad feelings.

VHS- No Thanks

My daughter and I just watched "My Best Friend's Wedding." About ten years too late. I honestly don't even know when that movie came out. Suffice it to say that it's been awhile. At least ten years. But Maddy had never seen it. And so it was new to her. She just wanted to see the bridal gowns and fussy stuff--not that she'd ever admit that in person. She likes to remain aloof about these things. Act indifferent. But underneath much neutrality I know there lurks a little hardcore romantic.
The funny thing is this: we had it on VHS only. And after being spoiled by BlueRay and DVD it's hard to get used to tape again. It was horrible, I tell you. And despite the entertainment factor and the company and Julia's infamous winning laugh, it was really hard to watch. The company and popcorn were the best thing about the whole experience. But I remember loving that movie.
And now that I live in Utah, I can plan on spending a lot of time watching movies with my sister and my daughter.
I think it's high time I threw out all of my old VHS tapes. I would keep them for sentimental value alone and if it made any sense, but they don't keep well.

Tech Slave

On my old desktop, my H key is exhibiting signs that it is starting to die. This is problematic because I really like the words the, he and she. It's kinda killing my pronoun power. I know I can take it to some geek squad where they fix laptop keys. I've just been holding out. I wonder how much they'll charge me for that service.
Times like these, I really wish I knew computers, that I was self-reliant in that way. It's crazy, how far we've come from Walden pond and all things simplistic and organic.
If I could live off the land, I don't think I'd even be happy. Too much progress has been made. We've given our hearts away (as one poet said---and not verbatim) a sordid boon.
And so I can hardly go an hour or two before checking my Facebook status line or my Gmail. And it's rather unfortunate, this dependency upon the world. I wish I didn't feel this way. I wish it didn't matter. I don't know how to get back to a place where it doesn't. I don't know if we can.
and that makes me feel rather depressed sometimes.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Chin Up Small Business

If business hasn't been too hot lately, don't panic. Because things are about to get better. I swear. There's been a recent rally on Wall Street and I think it's symptomatic of the turning over of the House to Republicans. Maybe I'm wrong but the American public seems to have a surge in stock market confidence. Suddenly.
And so I think that all signs point to a recovery. And that's terrific news for those of us who have small investments in the market. And I don't have a lot but what I do have is very important to my financial health and so I'm very hopeful and wishful.
Now if you're a small businessman at this point in time, then chin up. Things will slowly start to get better. And especially if you've invested some sense and cents into online advertising particularly in maps optimization. Because that's the best place for your advertising dollars and that's where an SEO group will represent your best interests more fully. If you haven't already, then talk to someone today. Everything is good and getting better.

Let's Go Out and Have Some Fun

What the nightlife used to mean to me is probably a bit different than what it used to mean to me when I was around twenty-two. I mean that's probably because my stamina isn't what it used to be. I used to begin my night at about 6 pm and try to keep going until about 6 AM if possible--regardless of where I was: Seattle or Toronto or D.C. which to me--at this point, sounds and seems completely insane.

I would meet my friends for dinner and then we'd find a good movie to see. Perhaps we'd go and see it and then we'd go dancing at whatever club happened to be the one we were now nuts over. And then we'd dance for a while, hang out on the street and watch people passing and then more often than not, we'd go have a bite (by now it was about 3 AM) and then we'd drive home. I'd typically get to sleep about 5 or 6 AM which only allowed me to have a few hours of sleep--because I often had jobs with Saturday hours. That really stunk. I hated it. And I loved it. I never do that to myself these days. I need all the beauty rest I can get.

Dad Loves the Night Life

When I was in my teens, I really loved going on vacation with my dad. Because he was so much fun. He wasn't exactly the perfect father by some conservative standard but he loves me and misses me (and my sisters) and he's always tried to introduce me to new ideas and interesting things about this world in which we live.

He had no problem sneaking my sister and I (our ages at the time 14 and 16) into Mexican night clubs when we were on vacation with him. He was extremely chilled about that kind of thing. And I loved it more than anything. I loved being with my dad when I was that age because he was truly shockproof. He didn't get all uptight about stuff. And he loved nothing more than good food and drink and entertainment whether we were in TO or Seattle or Mexico.

Going on vacation was always really great if my dad was at the wheel. Where some parents would be very strict and extremely uptight about stuff, my dad was always so laid back. Or so it seemed to me.

Fan For Life

I used to be one for the nightlife. But not so much anymore. Wait, that's not entirely true. Because actually I went to a club with a friend of mine only a couple of weeks back. Because he lives only a couple of blocks away from it. And we just waltzed into the place without any cover charge--because he knows the owners. And we were there because we're both extreme music junkies and we love all kinds of musical stuff like that. I should've moved to Seattle. That's how much I worship music.
And we just arrived in time for the last four songs of the night but it was good times and we had fun trying to find a spot in the crowd and just listening and watching the live music take place. It was great.
And then afterward, I decided (with the prompting of another person in the crowd) to go ahead and buy the first CD that Menomena made. The guy I was standing next to, told me that it's the one to get and because I'm not only a music junkie, but I'm out of some loops today, I trusted him. And so I approached the table to find that the lead vocalist was the one selling the CD's and when he told me that they were $20 I hesitated because I only had a twenty in my wallet and my debit card had recently been abused, therefore was shut down and I had no other means of cash. He looked at me and smiled and said, "Just download it." What a cool guy. That really won me over.

Body and Soul

I judge a community and a school by their playground equipment. It's just the kid in me I suppose. I like to see some sign that there is sufficient care and funding and that there's attention to detail and that children playing in a safe and creative environment is much more important than anything else like say...a cool teacher's lounge or a state of the art computer lab. Although that's cool too.

It makes a big difference though. If the playground isn't a wreck or littered with trash and there's pretty nice landscaping and obvious tlc, and the equipment meets the safety standards of today, then I'm going to be way more excited about moving in or registering my kids for whatever program it is that I'm investigating.

Because the body and mind are so closely intertwined and because one stimulates the other, it's important for role models and/or facilitators to connect the two things by encouraging both areas of development. High quality, well kept playground equipment and a manicured playground are just the icing on the cake.

Playground Eras

No school yard is complete anymore without commercial playground equipment. And compared to what we used to play on when I was a kid, it's a far cry from that rusted-out and splintery stuff.

A long while back, there was a playground trend that implemented rustic wooden structures with bolts, hardware and tires. While the tires are a terrific idea because it not only recycles material, but provides a safe place to fall if that should happen to a child. In other words, it's a good place to bounce. But then the wooden stuff was very splintery and bad to run on without any socks or shoes. Numerous times I had to pull splinters from the feet and hands of my kids. It wasn't good. And the floors seemed to erode with the wind and rain and snow.

Then the era of plastic playground equipment was ushered in. Heavy duty Rubbermaid was it. And this is much better and rain and splinter resistant.

My Own Backyard

Can you think of any childhood fantasy that is more exciting than having an entire commercial playground in your own backyard? Cause I can't. Except for maybe a pool. And perhaps a trampoline. Perhaps.

Because when I was a kid, we only had those rusty old swing-sets with a flimsy slide that constantly threatened to topple, a couple of independent chain tethered swings and a see-saw--if we were lucky and our parents were fastidious and imaginative enough. There was really nothing like the assortment of backyard play equipment--there wasn't any of that stuff, the kits available from home hardware stores--kids today have all of the cool wooden and plastic stuff for climbing and creating magical, imaginative worlds. If your dad was really handy, then you were lucky and you quite possibly got a treehouse out of the deal (if you had a suitable tree in your backyard, that is)

Today many kids have the whole kit and kaboodle in the privacy of their own backyard. I have to admit, I get a little jealous.

Look Mom!! Swings!!

When my kids were little, we could scarcely pass by a playground with colorful and new playground equipment, without one of them shouting out their need for me to stop the car immediately and for us to put everything else aside in our lives and just play for the rest of the day. That's how it is when you have juice-box aged kids.

And so we often did stop but with the understanding that it would be only a ten minute stop. And of course as much as I did lay down the law about time and need to move on and get some stuff done, in the course of events, I'd always end up staying with them at the park for a lot longer than just that ten minute break.

And I'm certainly glad that I did. For those were good times and I have very happy memories of those experiences and lots of pictures to go with them.

Changes are a Coming

I recently finished my course in World History part two and I recently realized that during the 1st half of the 20th century, technological change made the the world a very violent place. It made war more dangerous than ever before in the history of the world but it also enabled more people to live healthier and and more comfortable and to fully enjoy more interesting lives than ever before. New York City was a major hub--just like today.

In other places though, the Ottoman empire was growing weaker (Europeans referred to it as the 'sick man of Europe') leaving a power vacuum in the middle east, there was chaos in the Balkans and WW1 led to revolution in Russia with the Bolshevik party storming St Petersburg in 1917. It's crazy to think of this upheaval especially in the calm of our existence today.

The biggest problems I have are fairly simple by comparison. Namely, how do I get through Math 110 and also how do I sell my car without walking away with a car payment? It seems a dramatic contrast.

How to Sell

How does one sell a car? Craig's list? Is that a viable method? Or is it better to list in the paper? Is it best to go to CarMax and just trade it in? Or should I just stick a sign in the window and drive around with a sign, 'I want to sell my car'? Or is that desperate looking? I don't know. I live on the outskirts of a large metropolis, Salt Lake City and there's a decent amount of traffic though it's not like selling something in New York. Maybe I'll get lucky and find a family with small children who want to buy a touring van. Because that's what it is.

It has leather upholstery, captain chairs, and a DVD player. And it's in really good shape although a few things should be cosmetically fixed if I'm going to try to get top dollar for the thing.

These are just things I'm mulling over; clearly I've got some decisions to make.

Buy My Van Anyone?

I live in the Salt Lake City area, not New York City. If anyone knows anyone around this place who gives cash for cars, well... would you please let me know?

Because I do want to sell. And I want to sell in the month of December. Because I'm getting tired of putting about 80 bucks worth of gasoline into my vehicle every month. Because that's pretty expensive. That means that I spend almost $400 per month on gas. And I need to cut that stuff out. I need to stop driving into Salt Lake and then driving almost all the way down the valley to Payson. But see, I have a close friend in Salt Lake and I have a sister in Payson and I need to see them on a weekly basis. Why? Because they enrich my life and because I can't expect them to come and see me if I'm not willing to take the time or energy to go see them. Plus, my oldest daughter attends BYU in Provo and I like to go have dinner with her once a week. It's what I look forward to most.

But maybe I can economize in inventive ways. Perhaps I can come up with better planning.

Just Looking

These days I'm asking everyone around me what kind of gas mileage they're getting. Because I'm considering selling my car. It's been a good one; it's a Honda so I'm not excited to sell my car. And it was great whenever we went on vacation to New York and whenever I drove my kids to events like piano lessons and recitals and swim team and all of the other stuff like church events and community things, especially when I had to pick up their friends.

But then my children started driving and got their own licenses and cars and they didn't need me to cart them here and there and so now I can see that driving a van is a bit useless and consumptive and now I'm thinking about all of the gradual changes and the abrupt ones too. I don't need a van and driving it seems a little excessive. But I'm resistant to the idea of having a car payment and so once I find a way around that one, then I'll be more prone to seriously look at other cars.

Trade in or Buy Out

So I'm thinking about trading in my car. Slash van. Well I'm just in the preliminary, initial phases of thinking about it---mostly because I don't really want a car payment and I don't want to sell it privately. Maybe I should look into cash for cars, because private selling is an awful lot of work to and I honestly don't have the time to fuss with all of that.

Here's the thing: I spend an awful lot of money on gas every week (it seems) and I get pretty low mileage efficiency. This isn't great for someone who does an awful lot of back and forth road travel. I'm simply one person; I don't need a whole van and frankly, I wouldn't mind having something a bit spunkier.

So I'm still figuring it all out. A friend recently told me that I should look into police auctions and think about buying from them. But I need to look around and see if I can feasibly get rid of the vehicle I already have. I'm not yet excited about any of these prospects but I feel that I need a change.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Look No Further Than Your Monitor

If and when you begin to plan your small business strategy, your best friend will be your SEO partner and online search engines...both for doing the initial research and also for planning and executing your advertising. Because you must advertise and no one does phone book advertising these days--unless it's the yellow pages online.
That's where people look.
And there's no getting around it. The world has completely changed in the last 20 years with the dawning of the internet and everything surrounding it, evolving into what it is today. There are so many ways to search for people and things and products and places. You really have no excuse anymore to be ignorant or uninformed. There's an entire globe at the touch of your fingertips. And it's exciting and cool. And I feel that it's our responsibility as good citizens to remain afloat or aware of social issues and global issues and it's so much easier than it once was. The amount of information out there today is absolutely mind-boggling.

The Sad Side of Non Advertising

I lived in a pretty small southern town for a while. Five years to be precise. Five years and two months to be really precise--but who's counting?
Anyway it was really kitschy down there, I loved it. It was a very strange place in some ways. I can see why many of the great American writers and artists emerge from that part of the country. It's steeped in American history and slavery and civil rights struggles and even still today, there is a lot of racial tension in some places and violent crime and Atlanta is actually a really mean city--unless you're talking about living in Buckhead and then it's all new construction and niceness, mostly.
But in Augusta, that's two hours east of Atlanta, there's a strange phenomenon and it's not like anything I've ever seen before. The closing of small good restaurants. It's like there are chains of really bad places to eat and then there are just a few good places and everytime I latch onto a good place to eat or discover it, the place shuts down.
I wonder if it's advertising. Perhaps these folks don't know about SEO partners and Google search. Or maybe they're shut down because of unsanitary conditions. But it's strange. They seem clean and the food is always good.

Search Away

I just think that any struggling small businessman cannot afford to not advertise. That's just one of the figured in expenses...unless of course you happen to be the CEO of McDonald's corp. Even then though, these days cheeseburger sales must be down cause they've been dealing out the promotional coupons like nothing I've ever seen in my lifetime.

But they still don't exactly need any SEO partner and they don't need to raise their profile in Google searches. Apparently. They're above all that. They're like the Trump of the vast fast food empire. They swept sales back when I was a kid and they were truly the only restaurant at which I would eat. And all I would eat (because I was very squeamish back then) was a vanilla shake and fries. It drove my parents nuts. Because my mom worried that I wasn't getting enough vitamins. But I got all my vitamins through my consumption of huge quantities of apple juice.

Still. Apple juice, Eggo waffles, shakes and fries don't a solid diet make.

Don't Give the Bert Muppet

When I was a kid, I hoped and prayed for gifts like Barbies and Billy Moon-walker and there was this really cool plastic, kind of mechanical horse that you could ride (if you were small enough) but I was almost too big for it that Christmas that I remember it being advertised and that's probably why I didn't get it--because Santa just knows these things.
I also wished for Chrissy, the doll whose hair grows when you push in her belly button. And I did get that one.And a LightBrite and an Easy Bake Oven. Yes! And I prayed that I'd get an Ernie muppet.
But alas, I got Bert. And nobody wants Bert. He's zero fun.
And yet there Bert was on December 25th, sitting under my Christmas tree with my name on him. And I just thought, "Santa, how could you?!" I felt very betrayed.
And so that's what I'm going on about today. Why give someone the silly little flower pendant you found at a kiosk at the mall when what they really would like is--if they could say---oilfield jewelry.
And I don't wish the Bert Muppet gifts on anyone out there, no matter how lousy they've been all year.

Big Oil is Popular

Who would've thought that oil field gifts were going to make a big splash? Not me; I certainly didn't see that one coming. Nope, not for a mile.
I mean with the whole BP spill in the Gulf Coast and that entire oil fiasco down there, you'd think that people would be bitter. But they're not. Because oil field gifts are a status symbol of sorts--kinda like a Hummer.
And if you drive one of those, then people around you assume that you have money and they think that you know what you're doing--those assumptions kind of go hand in hand.
But the kind of gifts that speak to me aren't things like miniature oil rig jewelry but rather stuff like vouchers to the local spa or perhaps a small piece of jewelry like a ring or pendant or watch. Or perhaps a nice Coach bag or else something else snazzy--maybe a beautiful, expensive hair clip but I never figured that people would be so into oil field bling. But they are. And I think it's great. It's like fighting the powers that be. Right now in America it's so vogue to hate big oil and big corporations and even with good reason. But seriously, I admire those who can buck the trend and there are some out there who can pull it off.

Know Your Recipient

How about a nice oil and gas gift for your upcoming company Christmas party? Because they have secret Santa deals and it would be the most talked about thing you could get someone. And the thing is, it would be a showstopper especially if you worked for a pretty conservative, large corporation. Everyone would be really bummed out--at least those who didn't get you as their secret Santa.
So it's a way to be the most popular person at the party.
But then again, if you work for a labor union or some other place like a very liberal newspaper, you'd probably have to explain that it's just a tongue in cheek gift. That you don't really mean it ; you could only get a gift like that if you're known around the place as being one of the office's most ironic employees. And then you wouldn't really need to explain. Most of your other co-workers would just get it and not worry about you going off the deep end. Because it could be taken the wrong way--depending upon your persona.
That's why it's just as important for someone to understand their public image as much as it is to know their audience/recipient.

Animalia

I can tell you one little girl who would jump at the chance to cruise Galapagos if she was ever offered the chance. That girl happens to be my fourteen-year-old daughter, Maya.
She's an absolute nature freak. In fact, often when we venture outside or else head to the swamp and go on a nature hike, I always get much more than I bargain for because she never wants to leave. And what's even worse, I usually have to chase her down because she's usually off chasing after everything that moves or seems to move. Once she actually caught a jackrabbit with her bare hands--which still to this day, astounds me.
Another time I found my desktop open to a directive: 'How to Catch a Bird'. And the most amazing thing is that she actually caught one through an amazing set of traps and catches that she set up while camping and hiding out in the back of my van.
She's also been attacked by mother Mockingbirds on more than one occassion. She'll put her hand right into the ivy and pull out the babies to study them. Of course the mother bird sees this and swoops down, hitting Maya in the head. I've told her to leave those nests alone if she wants to keep her eyes. But it the swooping mother birds don't phase her. She doesn't mind.

Read the Fine Print

Before I buy anything online, whether it's books, clothing, shoes or perhaps flowers to send to a good friend, I first get online and look around for any online discounts. There are a lot out there to be had--for the truly resourceful. You just have to look.
For instance if say you wanted to buy some computer software or hardware or just a game, look around to see if you can find a Newegg promo code that will at least take 10 to 20 percent off of the original price. Or maybe it will offer free shipping and you'll feel that you at least got that freebie. It makes a big difference.
There are a lot of companies with both retail locations and online sites and some of the coupons are only for the online store or else can only be redeemed online. So be sure to read the fine print. Because that can really trip you up.
Last week, I received an email from Bath and Body Works so I went to their mall location only to have the store clerk tell me that the sale was for the following week--I hadn't looked at it close enough. But she petitioned the manager and since he was an area supervisor, she was able to obtain permission to give me the sale price early. But sometimes you might not be that lucky.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Crazy Conservative Gift Ideas

For this upcoming holiday season, I have some great off the beaten track ideas. How about a nice mutual fund? Or some nice oilfield jewelry? I know it sounds a bit insane. I know it seems like it might be something that recipients won't appreciate but guess what? They will. And it's always the thought that counts.

This year I bought each of my three daughters a small mutual fund and I'm going to tell them (on Christmas Day) that they have the option of either cashing it in for what it's presently worth or else keep the thing going for the next twenty years and when they get to be about 45 years old, they won't have to sweat retirement because they'll have stepped ahead of inflation and will be able to live off of their mutual fund dividends.

Yeah, it seems like an incredibly simple plan. But it's a great strategy. And hopefully they'll catch the vision.

Compounding Interest Can Be Your Friend

I bought something totally corporate and conservative for my daughters for Christmas. No, not oil and gas gifts but rather a very teensy mutual fund for each of them. All three of them. Yeah. It's true. I know they're very excited about it too. Not.

They certainly could care less at this point in their little lives. But they should. I mean if you actually begin a mutual fund in your teens and honestly put away $20 per month for 20 years (yes, that's all you need to invest: $240 per year) and just say that said mutual fund accrues 12 percent interest annually--yeah I know that the market is more volatile than that but I'm just picking a high number because I bought a pretty aggressive fund for them--which gets more conservative throughout the life of the fund, you would be able to retire at 50 years old. Possibly earlier.

And so I want to teach my girls these principles of saving and compounding interest because these types of things were never taught to me and I wish they had been, because I'd be in pretty good shape today if I had known this.

I'd Feel Cool if I Wasn't so Lame

I've already begun to Christmas shop. Well I shouldn't say already because honestly, it's getting kind of late. I mean it's already November for heck's sake. It's not like it's August anymore and I can feel like a hero. We just had mid-term elections. But we have had a rather late hanger-on summer and so you can probably understand my limited perspective. It's understandable.

And so far I'd like to think I'm doing really well. I didn't get anyone oilfield gifts. But I got a bunch of cool things--ornamental and rather expensive hair items for my daughter who loves floral clips. And yesterday I spotted a copper colored metal owl necklace at Target. And I love it because even though I found it at Target and the thing was only $17, my daughter will absolutely adore it since it looks so unique.

And my kids are getting a very small mutual fund because the stock market was doing so poorly when I bought the three of them and also because I want to teach them about playing the stock market and saving money and the principal of compounding interest. Because they're so young and they should start saving now.

Rule #1 - Don't Peel and Stick Window Tint

As far as window tints go, do not try a stunt like this at home. I repeat, do not.

Seriously. I once drove a little car around wherein the previous owner (as sweet and thorough and kind as they were) did an amateur job on their car windows; although I'm certain it looked halfway decent for the first part of the automobile's life, by the time it was passed off to us--the new owners--the back window was bubbling and slightly peeling in the corners.

It was a situation that only got worse as the car aged and deteriorated in value. And it would've been a real mess if I had tried to peel the entire thing away from every window. I would've needed a team of detailers to come in and save me from what I once believed was a fairly good idea.

But if you get it done professionally, then no worries. You have that work guarantee for the life of the vehicle and it's done right. And your resell value will be much higher in the end. I think that adds blue book value instead of detracting from it.

Student Cars or Desperation

Hahahahah!! If you can't tell--I'm cracking up.

Sorry, it's just when I think back on how my husband and I lived in the early years of our marriage it's a bit lotta funny. We had this cute little silver Honda and man, were we hard on that car. I'm not asking, I'm telling.

I didn't recognize the thing after the first year of our watch. But when we moved from Utah to D.C. it held up really well. Mechanically anyway if not cosmetically. And yet we only had one vehicle for a very long time. I think we had one vehicle for the first three years of our marriage.

But by the fourth year, by the time I had two small preschoolers and needed to make doctor appointments and go grocery shopping at the commissary on base then it was time for a second vehicle. We couldn't function on one. So we bought this other Honda, a little red Accord and it was so cute and cool and I thought it was so high tech at the time. But I laugh when I think back and realize that the previous owner wanted a window tint and obviously couldn't afford it and so they did it themselves. Luckily we bought that car when the self window tint was starting to go South and it was literally bubbling and buckling in places.

It makes me smile. We were so excited about that thing.

Men are Capable of Such Things

I remember when my husband and I were trying to plan out our lives and forecast where we'd live for the next twenty years. This was a couple of years back. Since then, we've split up but we were very happy once. It's just that he and I are very different creatures in certain ways.

We had a conversation that still kind of cracks me up today. I told him that I'd love to live somewhere interesting where there were all sorts of things to see and to do. I pictured New York City or somewhere perhaps a bit warmer but still busy enough and interesting enough--perhaps Buck-head in Atlanta. But he said that his ideal spot would be out in the middle of nowhere around Montana with no neighbors.

I told him that it would be very isolated and insulated and what would we ever do for shopping etc. His answer was that we could just online order everything and have it delivered to our place. Now, I don't know how it is for most women but here's what it is for me: I can't exactly order everything online and hope that I get the size right because it's a real pain to have to pack it up again and ship it out. And I know that men (well my ex-husband) all don't care about ordering clothes and trying things on. They just think that they can just use a Newegg promo code and buy computer parts and stuff and live in a way that they're perfectly happy.

And guess what girls? They can.

Irrational Fears and Online Transactions

I think my ex-husband used Newegg promo codes to buy geek products online. I don't know where he got half of the drives, games and other hardware. I do know that he is a frequent flyer at Amazon.com and that he buys a lot from that site. But he's a major online shopper and I'm not.

The main reason that I don't shop online is because I had a bad experience and I don't wish to revisit it. So I'm always afraid that it isn't secure enough to online shop. I'm always worried that someone is somehow going to see my transaction and use my debit card for unauthorized transactions and then I'll (once again) have to chase down my bank and tell them about fees that have been deducted from my debit card by scumbag thieves. I have this fear. It's the fear that some people feel when they've been hit by lightning once--I would imagine.

Yeah. And right now I really need to buy two books online. For math 110 and for pleasure reading--it's a rare one I can't get anywhere local. But I do worry about buying it with my debit card.

Put away the Tombstones and Get out the Wreaths

Pretty soon it'll be time to break out the Christmas decorations. That is, after I take down all the Halloween decor and once we get Thanksgiving overwith, too.

It seems like year after year, it gets a little more arduous to do all of this stuff. Perhaps because I'm getting older. And this year, I must confess, I didn't do even one Halloween thing because I am currently not living with my family/children and to be completely honest, that's who I used to do all of this stuff for. They are the ones who used to motivate me.

Seriously, I used to make a pretty nice table-scape in the kitchen on the last day of school for whatever the holiday was currently. On their birthdays, I did an entire mountain of gifts, along with balloons and signs and ribbon streamers and typically cupcakes with cool toppings and placed on a raised platter so that it all looked quite festive. And I've always done a nice Halloween dinner with all sorts of cool Halloween themed food: ghoul-ash and spaghetti and eyeballs etc. It was my signature thing during the holidays.
My daughters tell me that they miss it terribly.

Hold This

Time to take down the Halloween decorations and put up the Christmas decor.

Yesterday I was in Target looking at boots and a little boy came out from behind the rack and waved a huge scythe toward me. It was a frightening moment until I realized that A) the boy was only five and B) he was waving something that was basically hollow and plastic and it couldn't really hurt me even if he tried.

So I relaxed and looked down. "Wow, where'd you get that?!" I asked.

"It's just a toy for now," he said. "I got it over there." He pointed to the Halloween section which had by yesterday whittled down to almost nothing save a few costumes and the most undesirable candy which was now tossed into a shopping cart with a big 75 percent off sign taped to it.

His mom apologetically explained, "It's just for him to play with while we shop."

I can't say I didn't do the same when my kids were little. I put things in the cart just to keep them busy while I looked around at stuff. It was basic shopping survival.

Bring out the Rubber Gucci

The other day I saw a girl with Gucci fabric boots. Really? Obviously they aren't bonafide fabric as they are merely a duplication onto rubber but it made me chuckle out loud a little. Someone is really desperate for bling but hey....whatever makes you feel like a princess, I guess.

The things that make me feel like a princess are very different from the average person. I think. Well, maybe not entire different. I like to have my gel nails done. And I like to have a pair of good black tall boots. I like to be able to go out to lunch at least twice a week and I like to eat well. I don't always eat well because now that I live on my own--even though it's temporary, I just don't want to cook merely for one person. Myself.

But I also do like to have nice earrings and accessories to go with my clothing. I like things to go together. They don't have to perfectly match, but they just have to basically not clash. I guess I'm not all that different from other people after-all.

Make My Windows Beautiful.

For everything under the heavens there is a time and season. First God said that and then about several thousand years later, The Turtles said it too.

Guess what though? For everything (turn, turn) there is also a fabric. And designers are pretty adept at knowing just what that fabric should be. Whether it should be Gucci fabric or Louis Vuitton. They are after-all visionaries of a kind. And I appreciate someone having that skill. Because I don't. Well I don't absolutely not have it. But I'm not always perfectly intuitive about looking at a project/item and knowing whether it's actually a sound design idea or not.

I sometimes don't know. But I often know. Of course, it's this whole second-guessing myself that stinks and that's exactly what I'd pay a designer to do for me. Especially when it comes to window treatments. Because they can make or break your home. If you have upscale window treatments then it makes everything else seem classy. It's an investment, often expensive, but truly worth it.

Gucci in the Mix

If I was a designer and wanted to be completely indulgent or if i had a client who was absolutely and utterly a major consumer and trend follower, I'd probably come up with some reason to use Gucci fabric and/or Gucci vinyl.

But this type of look wouldn't work in every home because the place has certainly got to have a little decadence going on already in the way of space or lighting or something else. Obviously it wouldn't work in a farmhouse style abode nor would it work in a cottage-like house either. Unless of course the client was going for irony and then you might have something there.

But if I was working with a client who lived in a stately manor with vaulted ceilings and ornate lighting then I could see weaving some Gucci into the mix; perhaps Gucci fabric on the bathroom stool or corner chair to match the window shades and then maybe a Gucci vinyl shower curtain. I could pull that one off easily.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Tick Tock is a Rhythmic Clock

I was thinking recently about a very memorable trip that I took with a good friend--many years back. Funny that I worked on a strawberry farm (doing migrant style work) in order to save enough money to take that trip. I flew from Toronto to Utah to stay at my friend's house while her parent's were still in Toronto, working for our church. He had a three-year mission assignment there and was about half-way through fulfilling it.

That friend's name was Tiffany and she was born into a very wealthy family and consequently was very spoiled. But she was fun-spoiled rather than being snotty spoiled. Sometimes I was certain that she had no idea how great she had it in life. Their family had most definitely been abundantly blessed and lived in a part of Salt Lake City that was extremely upscale by comparison to the rest of the city and also it was wonderfully situated smack at the top of the foothills.

And I'll never forget the smell of their home and the sounds upon first entering. The scent of eucalyptus was thick and rich and everywhere that I walked, it was naturally rustic and smelled like a cabin with this lovely organic scent that seemed to permeate the air inside and out. The bathroom and the kitchen smelled like dense eucalyptus forestry and especially the little nook off of the kitchen with it's cozy sofa and monitor--which was so luxuriant in ways that I'd never before seen.

The 40 degree cold storage room off of the kitchen was like a walk-in industrial fridge and I'm sure was installed for entertainment purposes. It seemed the kind of house that was built for hosting cocktail parties and wine and cheese events. But from the outside it did not appear stately. It was hidden like a cottage in the shire.

But what struck me most was the enormous collection of large wall clocks that Tiffany's father had acquired over the years. There were all sorts. Cuckoo clocks, wall clocks and grandfather clocks among a wide variety of others. And I'd never before seen such a collection and it was impressive beyond belief. And they all worked and clicked away the hours and exactly on the hour, they chimed and it was a co-ordinating musical compilation of sorts.

I wondered how I would sleep in such orchestrated madness. But sleep well, I did. Because the ticking of the clocks was rhythmic and soothing and it lulled me into a deep and healthy reverie every night before I finally conked out. I thoroughly enjoyed that place. Probably a little too much. It was hard to leave when I did.

Southern Belles and Charms

I think the South is the best place to get home decor items for your house. Because it's really homey down there. And people are really really really into Southern hospitality and charm and not one person I know who lives there, wants the appearance that they just don't care.

It's all about staging and make-up and impact. Yet, the Southern belle lives on in the deep South. Although I'm certain it's a more temperate thing than it was in the past. The thing still exists. And most women who live in the town in which I lived for five years, don't dare go out of the house without being 'presentable'.

I noticed this attitude when I once hosted the friend of my daughter, Maddy. Her name was--well, let's just call her Mary-Ellen for anonymity sake. Anyway, Mary-Ellen had stayed overnight and the girls were busily playing with their feet in the swimming pool (it was early spring and too chilly to swim) and running around in the backyard. They were both 14 at the time. I was outside watching them and thinking, "how cute that they are both growing up but are still so playful and child-like in some ways."

Minutes later, Mary-Ellen's mother called and told her daughter that she'd be picking her up in no more than thirty minutes. When Mary-Ellen's mom stopped by to get her, she took one look at her girl and said, "Honey, we are going to be stopping at Kroger on the way home. Now, you'd better run upstairs and throw some make-up on cause you don't want to be seen like that."

She obediently disappeared and when she descended the stairs, she looked like a completely different creature.

The entire exchange took me a bit by surprise. What kind of example is it to set? I wondered though she was such a pleasant person and I really wanted to be friends. This was the very same mother who months later also told me that if I wanted to properly train my youngest in the ways of etiquette and social decorum, I'd probably want to register her quickly in 'social' where she would need to enlist a male counterpart her very age and learn to dance properly just like those others in their age group.

And also learn which utensils were appropriate when sitting down to eat. It's like a finishing school, she genteelly explained. And that is merely one example of how things are down that way. Yes it's changed from the days of Scarlett O'Hara. But ever so slightly.

Home Decor is Easy if You Follow Me

There are a few basic rules for interior home decorating. And they're pretty simple all in all. Just trust me when I pass on these hidden pearls of design wisdom and you'll be just fine.

First and foremost, unless you are planning on living in a certain home for the rest of your God-given natural life, then you'll want to stick to neutral colors and patterns. And stay away from wallpaper as much as possible because that's a turn-off for a lot of buyers although it rightly shouldn't be. And maybe just go crazy with outrageousness in one room alone if you can't stand living with neutral and want to express your personality more. Because it's a real pain to change things around and repaint an entire house when it's time to sell. And of course, everyone thinks the same thing: Oh, I'll just redo it later. But human nature is so that you probably won't have the energy or time or inclination to redo it.

Believe me, I know. Because I've done it all. I've made the mistakes. I've done the large floral wallpaper thinking that it was so Laura Ashley, why wouldn't anyone want that?! I mean anyone with a soul, should love it. But I was wrong. Everyone isn't a romantic. And I learned from that experience and I hope to never make those same mistakes. Because I think it lost me a bidding war--in the end.

Now for ultimate impact when decorating a room, you'll want to remember some basic rules of decorum. Put like things together and decorate in threes. What that means simply is this: if you collect old globes, then ensure that you collect them all and arrange them repeatedly throughout the same room for cohesive effect and place them pleasantly upon a shelf or table or in a built-in for impact. Take your time. Some compositions require more energy and maneuvering. Use a contrasting color behind the display. This is very important. You don't want the impact lost on a dull contrast using similar color behind the items themselves. You want it to pop.

Also employ unique items. One friend of mine staged an entire wall of door knockers and it was amazingly brilliant and clever. The final result was so cool. But who would've thought that such a utilitarian device could be decorative. It just requires a little imagination.

Also, the human eye needs relief and so if you have old suitcases galore, stack three at a time together and please vary the view and posturing. This way, there's balance and yet not overwhelming clutter or aesthetic exhaustion. The same rules apply that apply in other walks of life. KISS. Keep it Simple Stupid.

That about sums it all up. For the count there are only a few basic rules. Follow them and I know you'll do fine.

Biomimetics and You

I watched this documentary last night about Biomimetics. What the heck?! Yeah, you heard me say it: biomimetics. it's the study of nature to help deal with our problems and current design issues.

For example, how does a wolf stay warm in the winter? He has the human equivalent of a ushanka. Wait. Hold up. Scrap that. It's the other way around. We've developed something similar to what animals have and in this particular case--when we wear the animal equivalent of a fox fur hat, then quite frankly, we stay warm.

That's the general idea. But these weren't the topics of the documentary last night. The film-maker focused on other things like how sharks manage to keep swimming but use up very little energy. And Caribou also. How do they walk in the ice and snow and not sink? And another thing--tree frogs. How do they suction themselves to glass and yet, have the ability to ply their feet free. And since nature doesn't have wheels--no creature has wheels that is, how do bugs navigate difficult terrain? And how do we employ nature's smarts? These were the topics examined.

Just When I'm Getting Used to the Cold

I love the cold crisp get-out-your fox fur hat kind of weather that we've been having lately.

Admittedly though, I also like the fact that we seem to have a very late, very unexpected Indian summer. I know, I know! It's November for heaven's sake. But when I ventured outside today, I actually had to shed some of my winter wear. I had to toss the polar fleece vest and the half-mittens. I had to turn off my heat and crack the windows ever so slightly.

Because I find that here in the South West desert, when it's slightly warm out and that sun is shining it'll melt you all the way down to nothing if you don't peel off the layers. It's a funny climate and the elevation accentuates everything. This is prime melanoma country. You've got to take precautions. You're gonna need that sunblock. It's great in the winter because it makes everything warmer. And there's nothing more wonderful than snow capped peaks and a nice temperate day.

The Races and Hot Dogs -- a Memoir

I've been to the races before. I went to the 1975 Queen's Plate in Woodbine Ontario. And I still remember the jockey who won. Sandy Holly. And crazily enough I still even remember the horse who was showered with champagne for beating all the other horses. His name was Longileure. A Or something phonetically akin to that. And he was retired shortly after this event probably because he pulled a tendon or had something else happen to a leg. Those thoroughbreds typically have very short-lived careers.

I was just a kid--maybe twelve or less, and yet that day at the track had a huge impact on me. I don't know what was more impressive--- seeing my dad place bets and get all excited when his horse got in on the game and hearing him curse when his horse didn't make it, or maybe just watching the crowd go ape wild. It was something to behold.

See, In Canada, racing was as big as any soccer betting. I just stood there eating my hot dog and popcorn, watching all the pretty horses fly by and picking which one I wanted to win based on the color of the numbers and jockey uniforms. That's the kind of thing that mattered to me back then. The riding and the aesthetics. I was crazy about horse-back riding then and a pre-adolescent so for me, it was more of an equestrian event than it was a money maker/time waster.

But I crack up thinking back to my dad taking me to the track. That's his kind of thing. He's an interesting man. Horse races, and billiards. The stuff he exposed me to--when I was a mere child--well, needless to say, my mother didn't approve and she would show her disapproval. Not surprisingly, the two of them were divorced when I was only twelve and my mom had little control over where we went or what we did when my dad had us during the weekends.

It wasn't usually Christian-centered activity. But he was a good father in that he always tried to expose us to new places (i.e. Mexico, California, Europe) and he always wanted us to appreciate good food and the things that make life interesting. He took us to African Lion Safari, Niagara Falls on the lake, the North Atlantic coast and many other spots that I never would've been exposed to had he not been all that interested in life. He's just the sort of man who takes a genuine interest in exploration of ideas and places.

And for that reason alone, I will appreciate his energy and curiosity forever.

Free Theatre - is Anything Better?

I don't watch organized sports much. There's no fantasy league I subscribe to. Quite simply I've got no baseball predictions, no football forecast, no soccer tips.

What I can predict quite aptly is how great "The Drowsy Chaperone" will be when I see it next week at the Hale Theater West in Salt Lake City. Because I'm going. Yeah, my brother-in-law's mom called me a few days back and invited me because she has no-one else to go with. There's no one in her family who can be bothered to go to the theater-which is something that astounds me. She has a big family after-all.

And I don't even mind being a last minute choice. I don't care that she calls me when nobody else is in the mood to attend. It's a free ticket for me to see a live show and because I'm a very nice person, I always offer to buy her a bite to eat beforehand. It works for both of us. It's a win, win.
And the last one we went to, "Pirates of Penzance" was absolutely awesome and every seat in the place is great because the venue is so small.

Soccer Not so Much

I have zero soccer picks. I mean I guess it's the biggest sport in Africa as well as in the U.K. and elsewhere throughout Europe. And it's getting a lot of attention in America now.

Truthfully speaking, I find it a bit boring. Like hockey and unlike basketball, it's a really low scoring game. But unlike hockey, it's really dull to watch, mainly because the field is so huge and there aren't any good fights--normally anyway. So it's sort of like hockey but without any head banging or body checking or jersey pulling and for a spectator well that's just no fun at all.

I grew up with hockey on in the background of everywhere I went. And it's honestly the only real organized sport that I like. Baseball is slow moving and loses my interest. With hockey if all else fails you can watch the guys skate. And that's always a lot of fun. And when they bang into the boards--well that's pretty dang cool. Especially if you're sitting up close.

Experimental Soccer

When my daughter was about six years old, I decided that I was going to do what parents should do for their children and that is this: enroll them in as many events and sports as we could possibly cram into her little life--because she may latch onto something great and be a complete natural. You never know. And I felt that as a parent it is my responsibility to not leave one stone unturned, so I busied her in various things. Gymnastics and soccer were first on the list of things to do/see about.

You're right if you bet soccer was my biggest dream as a parent. I'd love to have a little Mia Hamm. How many times I've driven past a field and noticed girls convening against each other in uniform, with those shin pads and cleats and hair all ponytailed and cute. I've always thought that if one of my three daughters became an athlete, that's the sport I'd want her to excel in.

But it wasn't meant to be. She didn't take to soccer. In fact, she kept looking for cool insects and weeds in the grass out in the field. And I had to keep yelling to help her stay focused. All three of my daughters have turned out to be much more artsy than athletic.

Experimental

When my daughter was about six years old, I decided that I was going to do what parents should do for their children and that is this: enroll them in as many events and sports as we could possibly cram into her little life--because she may latch onto something great and be a complete natural. You never know. And I felt that as a parent it is my responsibility to not leave one stone unturned, so I busied her in various things. Gymnastics and soccer were first on the list of things to do/see about.

You're right if you bet soccer was my biggest dream as a parent. I'd love to have a little Mia Hamm. How many times I've driven past a field and noticed girls convening against each other in uniform, with those shin pads and cleats and hair all ponytailed and cute. I've always thought that if one of my three daughters became an athlete, that's the sport I'd want her to excel in.

But it wasn't meant to be. She didn't take to soccer. In fact, she kept looking for cool insects and weeds in the grass out in the field. And I had to keep yelling to help her stay focused. All three of my daughters have turned out to be much more artsy than athletic.

Friday, October 29, 2010

Move Over Tissue Paper, Here Comes Metallic

Oh Metallic paper how I love thee; let me count the ways...What can one say? You are versatile and thin enough to use as a gift wrap and craft liner for baskets and tabletop accents and pretty much you rock any party world whenever and wherever you are employed.
And you bring class to any display.
And you're also fairly affordable and classy so that even at a somewhat low-end shindig, you raise it all up a notch.
And... and... and you steal the show if used in a centerpiece/table arrangement.
And so I guess I should probably stock up on you. Like today. I guess there are no more excuses. Oh sure I could sit here and make some excuses about buying I suppose but then where would that get me when I have an impromptu surprise party for one of my daughter's friends(and believe me, with three teenagers this has actually happened).
And so I will stock up on metallic paper. As soon as I'm finished rolling these toilet paper centers into Halloween party favors. Yeah. Call me resourceful.

Metallic-a Sounds Right.

Nothing livens up a party like metallic paper. This is the serious festive goods. Metallic paper has umpteen uses both for crafts and decor and I don't think there's any season that couldn't use a bit more metallic . Silver and gold are both so neutral that they can go with almost anything you already have on hand.
Metallic paper can be used as an accent layer for tablescapes, as a beautiful bold gift wrap. It can be turned into floral pieces and taped on the wall or it can also be used in baskets as liners for centerpieces and gifts. There's no end in sight for metallic paper; it's multi-purpose and makes a statement no matter where you need it.
I'm a big fan of silver and not so much gold and so for me, Christmas is typically silver and green and sometimes with red. I really like that silver can go with anything and I try to incorporate it into all of my holiday decorating and birthday party arranging. It's fun. It livens up the set. It makes everyone feel festive.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Babysitting Now Serious Part Time Employment

Reflective of the zeitgeist of our era, babysitting fees have increased way ahead of inflation since I was doing it so many years ago. Not that it's a bad thing. I used to feel so ripped off, having given up my weekend night for a child care job only to be paid a pitiful dollar per hour or one-fifty--if I was lucky--on a good night.
It seriously stunk.
Now that my kids are of babysitting age, and frequently do it, I always ask them what they made after a job is complete. The amount of money they get usually astounds me. And it could or could not be due to the fact that we live in a fairly upper middle class neighborhood with a lot of our distant friends hiring our girls. They do very well. Once my daughter babysat for an attorney one neighborhood over. At the end of her 6 hour run with his kids, he arrived home and stated that he only had a $20 bill or a $100 dollar bill and so he pulled out the Franklin and handed it to her. That's better than minimum wage flipping burgers at a greasy spoon.
It wasn't always like this.
But I was excited for her and that isn't the first time she was paid over ten bucks per hour; she certainly is reliable and kind and probably entertained her watch beyond duty. It's a different era today and I'm glad to see it. I'm happy that people acknowledge the real value in having someone conscientious and honest taking care of their most precious possession (if a child can be called such a thing).

In House Child Care a Terrific Idea

One of the main concerns of new and young mother's returning to work, is always that of child care. Where can they enroll their child that will provide a safe environment? What is the most economically affordable care of decent quality? How does one best combat infectious illness and bullying by other children in these places? There are a lot of things to consider.
I think a great solution lies in the most recent wave of child care providers in the corporate world. That is, an entire area within the actual employers building is sectioned off and used as a day care facility. This resolves a lot of issues. First, the parent/employee can be at ease that their child is safely being cared for just a couple of floors away. If something happens, they are nearby and if there is inclement weather or they are required to stay late, they can still access their child for a quick visit throughout the day (maybe over lunch time) and know that their child is happy and well looked after.
Proximity is comforting in situations like this. And having the freedom to pop in anytime also gives great peace of mind to a young parent with young children.

Get Out Your Lead Detectors

I love to look at foreign pots and dishes not made in America. Because you can find some really cool stuff out there. In fact, there are all sorts of things you can buy that are amazingly original that you could place on your tabletop over the holidays and which will both astound and reverence your dinner guests.

The problem is this: many of the things that you find at local markets in exotic locations, contain lead. And lead toxicity is a definite problem that can lead to irreversible health issues. Even in minuscule amounts. And usually over a period of time with exposure.

But there's a product out there which I once saw on a cooking show. And that thing is quite brilliant and is called a lead detector. And you can take it with you when you shop--if you're shopping overseas or somewhere with lax regulations. It's called a lead detection kit. And it works and it's cheap and you can buy pottery and cookware without any great concern for adverse effects down the road.

Blinded by Toxicity

When I lived at Fort Meade post housing about 15 years ago, we had an officer duplex and it wasn't too bad. At least the housing wasn't nearly as bad as I had predicted it'd be. It certainly wasn't as bad as some that I'd seen. I'd seen the enlisted quarters and those were fairly rough...kinda like the projects.

But officer housing has it's few and far between charms. One in particular was the parquet flooring. Y'know it could've been worse. Carpeted floors are the worst of all kinds and so I was grateful that we didn't have that. And then, the windows weren't bad--at least there was a lot of natural light. The greenery of the backyard was framed by a dense thicket of forest, which was pretty cool particularly when there were bunnies gracing the grass.

One day a contractor knocked on my front door and informed me that there might be lead toxicity in the blinds on my windows- they were the aluminum kind. Apparently some children had sucked on the bedroom mini blinds and became ill. So they had to come in and replace them. There were a lot of things like that.

Documentary Bedtime Stories

I have a pretty good system, the way that I manage my leisure time--which is time spent not at work or on school studies but rather my alone time or also known as 'down time'.
What I really love to do is to watch documentaries in bed at night...until I get too tired to keep my eyes open. I think it really feeds my imagination and it provides me with plenty of food for thought until at least I fade into unconsciousness.
And I bet it has a vivid effect on my dreams as well although I'm not especially great at recording those but I probably should start.
There are all kinds of great documentaries out there in case you don't know this. There are documentaries online for free and they're about crazy things like lead toxicity, oil spills and North Korea and anorexia and Charles Kettering and all kinds of enigmatic and interesting people.
There are so many things that are documented on film and so many more things worthy of documentation and the documentary list grows each year and I feel like the lucky recipient of these film ventures. Simply because I have a laptop with a good battery.

Cash in on Other's Buyers Remorse

When I see people shopping for furniture or large appliances at high end retail shops, I often wonder if they've tried first looking for stuff through local buy and sell classified ads. Because those are great places to start looking before resorting to new. If you're patient and have enough follow-through you can often find exactly what you're seeking--and often it's barely or gently used and at a fraction of the cost.
I mean for instance, say I was looking for a stationary bike or an elliptical trainer which starts at about $2000 for a decent one. Of course if by some sudden emergency you need an elliptical trainer today, finding one in the classifieds may not happen but if you can spare a couple of weeks and maybe a gallon of gas, going to a few places to see used ellipticals--sold by private individuals, then you can often cash in. You could probably get one for about $500 or less, depending on the level of desperation to sell.
Because people like you, also buy things at full price when they think they need it. And often the realization that they didn't need it after-all and the accompanying buyers remorse, doesn't kick in until over 30 days out, at which point it can't be returned. It can only be sold through a private sale. And if you happen to want one, then you could be in luck.

Buy Used, Clearance or Bust

I hardly ever buy anything new. That is, I hardly ever buy anything fresh from the manufacturer's arms, pushed directly into a shop display window.

Because I've lived long enough to realize that if you wait even just a few weeks, the price will depreciate in value. Sometimes monumentally. And that's just how sales go, unless of course, the item is totally hot like beanie babies were in the 90's and also Pokemon card values happened to explode in the 2000's. Then you'll have to wait until the trend dies which is typically a year or two. But the rule of thumb for me now is...wait it out.

I buy most things on clearance or else through buy and sell classified ads. Mind you, I thoroughly window shop until stuff's available for cheap. I found the most amazing dining room set of my dreams at a back end clearance at Haverty's in Augusta Ga. And I could hardly believe my luck when the store clerk located two extra chairs. It was the best shopping day ever.

Local Ads Made Me Happy

When I first moved to Georgia almost six years back, we had enough furniture from our old house in Maryland to make a small dent in our new house that was about twice the size of the other one.

So it was pretty bare at first. But then I found an amazing local resource called The weekly Iwanta which was the local place to buy and sell classified ads. It was terrific. You could both buy and sell used stuff pretty cheap and because we lived in a fairly small town, the farthest place was never more than about ten minutes up the road.

And also because the decor style of my old home was fairly different and my taste had evolved--I had gone with a garden centered theme there but had grown weary of it--some of the previously acquired furniture had to go (and fast) if I was to afford anything new. Because I had an awful lot of space to fill.

Of particular interest, I ended up getting rid of my old worn dining table and chairs and finding something new/used that I fell very in love with. It was a happy ending thanks to local ads.