Take Leave off Your Partner; Focus on Your Own Actions

Too many people go into marriage feeling as though they want to control everything. It's their inner A-type personality. Actually sometimes it's the outer A-type personality. They go in with the belief that it's all about partner management; that they should be watching what their spouse is doing and correcting them when they err. They fail to focus on themselves. They fail to realize that despite whatever their partner is doing, they are only responsible for how they respond to it.
This is the type of marriage that is doomed from the get-go. They don't pause long enough to take the focus off of themselves but rather they want to point out everything that is lacking in their partner.
I've seen this type of relationship. Up close and personal. And it's not pretty. It's the type of deal where the one responds by having a talking to with the other when they do something considered unsavory or mean. In a healthy relationship, one spouse or partner is more focused on the humanity they serve up and the principles they keep, regardless of what the other person chooses to do.